Ladies.

[sapphire]

She was Chinese, actually. Round face, big eyes. Dark makeup around said eyes to emphasize them. Pouty lips. Long, shiny black hair.
She was a very, very spoiled only child. She told me that her dad was paying for everything for her in college, including "shopping money."
(I mean, my parents paid for my tuition, aside from scholarships, and my room and board, and I consider myself incredibly lucky for that... But still. Shopping money?)

Yeah, I kind of did everything. Even when I was little, I did all kinds of activities. I've been in ballet, competitive swimming, soccer, track and field, horseback riding, tennis... I took individual voice lessons for a couple of summers. Not all of that was in high school, but still.

[Zoom]

Rich kids. Damn. This one time in high school we were in class and this dude who drove a Benz to school each day waltzes in to tell our teacher - who was also his track coach - that he wanted an advancement in grades due to his success in track.
When my teacher said, no, we're not allowed to do that, he said, "So?"
When my teacher said, it wouldn't be fair to the other kids, he said, "So?"
When my teacher stood there silent because he couldn't think of any way to reason with this dude, he said, "Right, okay. My dad will be talking with you shortly."
Part of me wishes I had money but the rest of me knows I am the exact kind of person who should not have a lot of money.

Ah man. I joined a lot of things but ended up giving up on them before I realized I liked them. I was in gymnastics, basketball, volleyball, tennis, cadets, piano, soccer, swimming, archery, fencing, and boxing for like four classes each.
I did take horseback riding lessons for years though.
...I hear clubs and teams are a great way to meet people.

[sapphire]

That was exactly the kind of reasoning my roommate used to use. She would open the blinds in the morning (which she could only do by leaning over my bed, by the way - super awkward) before I was awake, and when I asked her not to because I was still trying to sleep, she would say, "It's morning. I need light." I suggested she go to the lounge or the workroom (both on our floor of the dorm, neither remotely difficult to get to) if she needed light that badly, she would say, "It's morning. I need light." This was her method of arguing. Just repeating the same thing over and over until whoever she was irritating gave up.
I eventually just started telling her "no" when she did something that I'd repeatedly asked her not to do. It sort of worked. I got her to use her desk lamp in the mornings, instead of the open window or the overhead light, at least.

Ah, I wish I'd been able to get into archery and fencing. We did archery in gym class a couple of times, and I loved it. I've thought about finding somewhere to take lessons, but living in a small-ish town isn't exactly conducive to that kind of thing.

[A Mask Among Many]

I'd kinda like to do fencing, but I've tried most of those others. I have pretty bad hay allergies, so horseback-riding is out, but I played or did almost all of the rest for at least a season. (Or until my grandma's subscription ran out. )

My family isn't poor, but we definitely aren't rich either. We have the same problems most people have, I guess.

Anyway, I haven't experienced that level of screwing with people recently, but I had this one friend a long time ago who was a pain in the butthole, and he was one of the fastest people in our grade, so we all wanted to be near him. (Second grade... yup.)

[Zoom]

Ugh, it is so sad/frustrating how some people are basically children inside. Good for you for dealing with it, though, I don't know what I would have done.
WHY ARE THERE SO FEW DECENT PEOPLE

Ha our town had like a convenience store and a tourist shop...and this lady who taught archery I got lucky.
Although one day I'm walking with my dog and there's this arrow buried to halfshaft out in the back field...stray arrow. Could have hit somebody if time had been against us.

[sapphire]

At least I got my bad roommate experience out of the way quickly, though.
My roommates in the next three years weren't all ideal, but none were as bad as that first year. I probably would have switched rooms if I didn't feel like it would have been a punishment for me when she was the one causing all the conflict. I'm illogical like that.

Gah, that's awesome. There are people in my town who teach piano (oh, yeah, I did that, too, for years), but no one who teaches archery.
Though I can see that being somewhat hazardous. Glad you weren't hit!

Mask, I'm allergic to the horses themselves... Never stopped me! But then, I started riding before the allergy developed, and I was in love with it by the time they started making me sneeze. I wasn't going to let a little thing like itchy eyes keep me from them. I'd still be riding today if the stable hadn't closed.

[Zoom]

No, I getcha. Man I wish there was some way to get people to take a good look at themselves.

...Seems to me the people who suffer most are the people with a conscience. I remember getting really pissed at this one chick because what I considered being a decent human being, she considered being a doormat. And then this of course belies the question, where's the balance? Where do you say decide to pull a Machiavelli and take more than your fair share because it's a dog-eat-dog world? Ugh. Life.

Cool! Can you read music? I wish I could.

So this sounds weird but my favorite part was brushing the horse beforehand.

[sapphire]

I wish holding mirrors up to people could show them more than their physical reflections.
(Whoa, that would actually make a pretty cool story, though, wouldn't it?)

Oh, humanity. If only we were all capable of considering others' points of view. Are we even capable of finding a balance? No matter how considerate we are of others, we're bound to act selfishly sometimes - I know I do.

I can read music. Or, at least, I used to be able to. Haven't tried in ages, but I feel like it's similar to reading words. You can't really lose that. My piano skills are very rusty, though. I can sightread simple stuff (piano and voice, though not together), but anything with multiple chords gets me.

No, I totally get that. There's something about that bonding time before a ride. Especially with a special horse. I rode one pony, Captain (cutest little palomino ever), for about a year, and we had a very close bond. I was one of two people in the stable that he didn't bully, because he trusted me. That pony had some serious trust issues - I'm pretty sure he must have been abused at some point. But yeah, just hanging out with him was amazing. He used to just stand there at let me stroke his ears. He loved that. (And I could talk about him forever, so I'm going to stop here. )

[Zoom]

(Resist the temptation; you have a novel to write missy)

Oh man, if only. And that's the thing I hate the most, I think - that people who are essentially good at heart end up getting down on themselves more then anybody because they're the best at understanding how it can hurt people when they look after themselves and yet they also don't like how people treat them when they think about other people instead.

Arr, so jealous. Both my sister and my best friend can sightread and while it's never come up, I wish I was able to. I love jamming when it's just messing around but it would be cool to be able to play actual songs as well.

Oh my gosh Captain is the perfect name for a cute little palomino!
No no continue I like hearing about people. Did you ever go for trail rides?

[sapphire]

(You're right, you're right. But still. Maybe for later.)

So basically all we need is for everyone to be capable of feeling (at least a little) guilty if they hurt someone else, and to be capable of being aware that they've hurt someone else.

My choir teacher in high school is the one I can thank for my ability to sightread. He stressed that - to get into the audition-only choir, you had to be able to sightread at least simple things. And that's how we learned music: we sightread. If there was a particularly tricky bit or we just weren't getting the hang of it, he'd play it on the piano or sing it for us, but otherwise it was up to us.

Yeah, and he liked the name, too. He was called Cracker when he came to us, but one of the stable hands started calling him Captain and it stuck.
Sadly, no trail rides with my boy. I did go on a couple with a pony called Bear (she was the beginner pony, and so the most bomb-proof for someone not experienced in trail riding). With Captain, I had lessons in hunter/jumper twice a week, and we went to one show together. He was amazing, though. When I started working with him, he had a terrible habit of consistently speeding up - if we were trotting, it would slowly build up to someone impossible to sit. If we were cantering, it turned into a gallop. We spent a lot of time at the sitting trot, working on steadiness.
By the time he was sold (I wanted to buy him, but had no money, and my parents weren't going for it), he was almost always calm and steady, even when approaching a jump. He'd just been so scared all the time that he didn't know how to not be scared. He and I gave each other a lot of confidence.
He also adored peppermint. I had these peppermint flavored horse treats that I used to give him and he would just slobber all over when he saw it coming. And then his breath smelled like peppermint while I stood there and stroked his ears. His forelock was so long that it got into his eyes all the time, so I used to smooth it back behind his eyes. It was adorable.
(See? I really could go on about him forever.)

[Zoom]

Presto chango everybody is better
Ha but seriously if only, if only. And I'm sitting here thinking that even if I found the PERFECT group of friends, they wouldn't even like me, because I wouldn't be perfect. Nobody's perfect, you know? I know this and can't accept it. Can't like figure it out. SJKADHFKJSDFHKSJDgh

Ah, sweet. Have you ever considered getting back into piano? I mean you have this talent, right? Might as well utilize it?

Haha I would definitely appreciate my name being changed from Cracker to Captain
Aw man. I mean it sucks you couldn't get him but I definitely think it's awesome you had that impact on him. Did your instructor ever acknowledge it?
Also great he had an impact on you; I rode a quarter-horse-mix named Nikki which I liked but never really BONDED with.
How old were you at this time?

[sapphire]

I suppose perfect is objective... You can be perfect for someone else without being perfect yourself. My best friend and I are practically the same person, but we also complement each other. It just depends on the flaws you're willing to accept and those you can't, I guess.

I still play occasionally. I stopped taking lessons in high school (I think it was my junior year? Maybe sophomore year...) because practicing every day started to feel more like work than fun. I pull out my old music books once in a while, though, and tinker around. It's fun now, but not something I love enough to go back to regularly.

Yeah, Captain is definitely the better name. His show name was Pot O' Gold.
Yeah, my instructor did acknowledge it. She was actually the one who suggested that I buy him, because we were so good for each other. She even said she'd go in on a half lease with me (she could use him for lessons and take care of board/feed, I'd ride him whenever he wasn't with a lesson and pay vet/farrier). I think I cried for weeks when my parents said no. I was thirteen, I think.
I really was the most timid little kid, too... He really brought me out of my shell. It's amazing how having confidence in one area gives it to you in everything else. I'm still shy, of course, but I no longer panic at the thought of having to talk.

Aw, Nikki's a cute name for a horse. I know what you mean about liking-but-not-bonding, though. That's how I was with Bear. And Loosey (named for her ditzyness...). And Norman. And Thomas. And Spice. I rode a lot of different lesson horses. Heh. But yeah, Captain was always the special one. That kind of bond really is once in a lifetime, I think.

[Zoom]

Mm, yeah, I getcha. You're the same in the places that matter, and different in places that make it interesting.

Aw man why did they say no? Was it just not feasible?
Ha Disney or something should make a movie of this

What ended up happening to Captain?

[sapphire]

Horses are just so expensive. And they were saving to put three kids through college at the time. (My parents are awesome and paid for all three of us, all the way through.)

I've thought about writing the book, actually. A departure from my usual dark fantasy, but it could be good for me. I've had a couple of false starts. I think I actually wrote it as a short story once. Maybe I'll dig that out.

I don't know what happened to him. After he went back to his owner (my instructor was leasing him, the owner decided to sell instead of keep leasing), I didn't hear anything about him again. I tried to get their number or address, but I never found it. He's probably not around anymore, or he's at least really old.