Original Quotes / Phrases

[Jade]

I love making up silly quotes, typically they end up in my Facebook statuses, but figured I'd post some here and see what other silly things people have made up by themselves.

"I don't put my pants on one leg at a time, I sit on the edge of the bed and slip BOTH legs in at the same time because I'm a rebel like that."

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"If you type random vowels and consonants there's a good chance it'll look like the name for a generic drug."

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"Pastor Meeko has been contemplating the Book of Revelation. He's not keen on what will happen to all the fish, though. . . ."



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"Oh, nothing is going to happen on Dec. 21st this year. I'll be back to work on Sunday wearing a 'I survived the Mayan Tragedy T-Shirt."

[Zoom]

I put my pants on both of my feet and then pull them up

Let's see... siweug - yep, sounds like something that Amazonian tribes would boil and ingest for spiritual healing...and then sell over the internet to bored teenagers from Iowa before it gets Scheduled. You're on to something here.

KITTY is all I have to say.
Also: we have the exact same table! The exact same! I like the flower-in-the-parasol-hole thing; I'm gonna do that next summer.


...I don't really have any quotes like that (plus I quit Facebook a couple of years ago).

[Endovia]

Ooo, some of my favorite quotes: (Not really silly or funny, but I still like them.
"Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream?" — Edgar Allan Poe

"Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes." — Benjamin Franklin

"The proper study of mankind is books." — Aldous Huxley

Favorite Shakespeare speech is in Macbeth by Macbeth in the last act:
"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

[sapphire]

All my quotes tend to be the "you had to be there" type.

[Jade]

Lol. My sister and I tend to say some pretty out-there-things--especially my sister because she screws up her sentences all the time. Here are a few more.


"That's about as fun as being a snail in a salt-shaker."

"Can I have some marshrooms with my hot cocoa?"

"Cease and decease!" -- "You mean, desist?"

"I was filling my gas up with car."

"You had your Booth Told, I mean tooth pulled?"

[Zoom]

This isn't silly or funny and I'm not even a photographer, but it's so true I had to post it:

"Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a photograph that is a work of art and a photograph of a work of art."

[Harbor]

"Everyone deserves to speak, but the world doesn't always deserve to hear what you have to say."

Toni--your saltshaker one made me laugh. It reminded me of:

"You're like a man with his head up a horse's ass, looking for milk. Not only are you in the wrong place to begin with, but you're going about it entirely the wrong way."

[Spectre]

"Why is it the same people who told me to always wash my hands for a full 30 seconds, are now telling me Americans use too much water?"

That's one of mine. I'll try to think of a few more.

[Deleted]

That's just creepy. I have a table like that too... o.O

And, while attempting to write a pirate novel that went horribly wrong about a year ago, I managed to write one great line I still actually find funny, today: "Small closet, my salty ass!" The sailor said to himself. While the quote references an earlier part of the chapter, making it funnier in context, I still think it's a pretty funny quote on its own.

[the Red Dragon]

I love the snail in a saltshaker one. Is that copyrighted? ;D

"Okay, everybody, line up alphabetically according to your height." - I have no idea who said that

"Regular naps prevent dying of old age . . . especially if you take them while driving . . . "

"The problem with political jokes is they get elected."

"All my life, I thought air was free. Then I bought a bag of chips!"

"Nothing's worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong."

"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!"

[the Red Dragon]

go here: laughbreak.com . . . it's hilarious!

[lucia]

Oh my gosh, I love those. So true about the political jokes (and the chips).

[lucia]

I'm suppose to be studying Spanish, but I just spent an hour reading on that site

[Genesis]

"Uuuuuurrrr Ahhhrrr Urrrurrr Ahhhhr Aaahhrrg!"--Chewbacca

[Zoom]

"The problem with political jokes is they get elected."
"All my life, I thought air was free. Then I bought a bag of chips!"

LOLOLOL


Also this isn't funny or anything, not at all actually, but I thought it was neat:

The other day I was Googling what it's like to be schizophrenic and I came across this killer:

"i can remember this one time when i was little my dad used to come home from work late and he heard me talking in my room so he came in to see who i was talking to and i told him the air was showing me pictures and he said that it was just my imagination and do u know what i thought thats what it was called that the pictures were real and he could see them too and they were called imagination."

Shivers up your spine, eh?